Operation Desert Storm

By: pixbyshumbles

Jun 19 2013

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Category: June 2013

2 Comments

Aperture:f/4
Focal Length:70mm
ISO:100
Shutter:1/100 sec
Camera:Canon EOS 600D

Right, I’m back with a brief update on Cotton Bud-gate my loyal readership of … actually, probably nil due to recent revelations.

I got up early Monday morning wielding me Super Dooper Cotton Bud, took a deep breath and plunged it downwards.

Oh I was all business until I realised I desperately needed a wee. But I couldn’t enjoy it – isn’t the first wee of the day just the best, it’s like a really good massage, releasing all the tension in your body – sooo, I couldn’t enjoy it because The Brazilian was hovering over me going “Come on Hon, don’t be a wuss”. I won’t tell you what I said to him but I will tell you that it was a colourful depiction involving me shoving the offending earwax-remover somewhere the sun don’t shine.

Reader, I tried. I really did. Several times. Eventually after himself took over (bye bye dignity) we managed a speck of the much prized secretion (what a heinous word that is) although I remain unconvinced it wasn’t sweat from all the effort involved. Undeterred, we trotted off to the hospital to present them with the efforts of our early morning digging … … and ran away really quickly just in case they pulled me in for another go.

Sadly, we have given them my mother-in-law’s phone number so naturally they rang her and demanded a re-match, explaining precisely in graphic detail the nature of the test.

Oh the shame.

And so this afternoon, picture the scene: I’m in the spare room at my mother-in-law’s house with my kecks around me ankles listening to two elderly chaps chat loudly about God in the next room. Not exactly atmosphere-enhancing I’m sure you’ll agree.

So there we are trying to conjur up some sort of liquid, anything at all really. I’m not fussy: at this point I’m considering getting some Fairy liquid on the case.

To no avail. It would appear that I am as dry down there as the Sahara …

To be continued – alas.

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2 comments on “Operation Desert Storm”

  1. That is a gorgeous sunset picture.

  2. Fabulous photograph…not so fabulous medical experience!


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