Dear Diary …

By: pixbyshumbles

Dec 07 2012

Tags: , , , , , ,

Category: December 2012

1 Comment

Focal Length:42mm
Shutter:1/0 sec
Camera:Canon EOS 600D


Allow me to indulge myself if I may, ah sure what’s new?! Let me paint the scene of a typical day at Parental HQ:

8.00am Miss Barker and I wake up and think about going out for a walk. She thinks with the duvet over her head whilst I get on with it.

8.20am Stumble bleary-eyed into the kitchen, clean up someone’s little pooh-shaped gift, thankfully I spotted it before I walked into it barefoot although I’m sure it’d be a tonic for the skin!

8.23am Out into the nippy morning air with the other lazy buggers (there are six other canines here, plus the ever bouncy Flatpack) who worry that they will shrivel up due to rain exposure. Spend ten minutes walking back and forwards in the rain frantically trying to get the brain to tell me what to do next and then, having rebooted, I finally remember where everything is.

(I’m exceedingly slow in the mornings pre-caffeine hit as you know.)

8.30am Ah yes. Feed horses, a mammoth task involving a hike, some mud-bathing and finally a spot of obstacle-dodging (the obstacles being ten tonne of petulant pony).

Yer late, they pout.

As they’re having their breakfast cereal I chase the dogs away from their aromatic excrement and traipse off to the hen house, let them out and feed them before remembering that I need to give the salami-on-legs their haylege so off I set again with that, back over the the mini-Everest of ditch, more muck-embalming and dodging of large equestrian articles. And then … the dogs bugger off inside.

8.50am I invite Miss Barker out who daintily looks around, does a wee and pounces on a bone.

And that was just the morning.

What do I do in the afternoons? Why, I’m glad you asked.

I did the exact same thing at 3 o’clock only this time it did just four torrential downpours. Miss Barker came out, tried to play with Stinkus Winkus (one of the parental brethren) who wanted to get some Barry White on the stereo and commence with the lovin’.

Around this time I was also working on a large transcription file and keeping the fire going in Miss Barker’s sitting room/my office. The fire in question is like a needy friend, it constantly needs to be told how good it is and how clever it is to stay lit in the face of such adversity as … well whatever mental health problems it’s got.

Tomorrow will be the same process of feeding the muck, walking the hens and cleaning the horses … or something.


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