Fully insured and ready to roll

By: pixbyshumbles

Feb 22 2012

Category: February 2012


I received this in the post this morning after three weeks of postman-watching (I watch from behind the door now since Fannygate). It seems in my overzealous, control-freaky way I confused the insurance broker by daring to change one of the details they had on file for my car, effectively just changing its classification from one meaningless word (Vicky or something) to another, Terra. (Sounds a bit Oscar Foxtrot Sierra to me, why can’t car manufacturers just have one name for each type of car anyway, hmmph.)

Instead of asking me why I did this they just ignored me.

So, there I was merrily driving around sans disc for the last while wondering when the flamin’ yoke might turn up.

I rang the brokers and I got a pleasant voice on the other end: “Please press 1 for a new quote; 2 to amend a quote; 3 if you are blonde; 4. if you had Weetabix for breakfast” and so on. The disembodied voice got to the end of her list, waited and then started repeating herself. Picture the scene, me randomly poking at the face of my touchscreen phone pleading, “Speak to me, I’m here, I want insurance!”.

Eventually I gave up and got the Magnetic One to ring them for me.

Apparently the broker was waiting on me to ring them before they could bring themselves to send out the paperwork. Don’t ask me why.

(Maybe they just needed a little pep talk: Now, take it slowly, just print off the disc and make sure it’s got perforations so I don’t rip it apart trying to dislodge it from the paperwork. Steady, okay, wait for it to dry. Right, next slip it into an envelope. No, that one’s got your fingerprints on it from that breakfast roll you just ate. There. Job done. Pat on the back.)

They were very nice so she didn’t yell at them!

And so, here is the disc. Yay! But it’s all square and boring, when did they do away with the colourful round ones? Was there a referendum that I missed?

But it gets me thinking, we must be one of the most insured-up countries on the planet. The Brazilian tells me that back home nobody bothers with house insurance! What happens if your house burns down, I gasped. “You rebuild it”.


They only have third party car insurance, unless the car is new in which case they’ll plump for comprehensive till they’ve paid it off.

There’s no public liability insurance for farms!

Or dog insurance, health insurance (they have actual working hospitals, y’see) nor life assurance.

You just die, that’s it.

End of.

It’s much simpler, non?


4 comments on “Fully insured and ready to roll”

  1. Er, daughter… how many coffees / glasses of red wine did you consume today?
    Motor road fund licence is ROUND, Insurance Disc proofs are SQUARE, always have been.
    Its a little known fact that the Health & Safety gombeens have legislated that employees of motor insurance companies are not permitted sharp objects in their workplace (no scissors, knives, brains, etc.,) and even less so for Brokers (no I.Q.s over 62) hence the discs are square and come with a printed scissors and a dotted line for the recipient to negotiate at their own risk.

    Just thought I’d remind you… !

  2. Ah we have working hospitals . . . you’d just wait two years for a hip replacement and 18 months for heart surgery. The U.S.now they……………….are over-insured. But then again when the highest rate of individual bankruptcy is due paying medical bills and a heart by-pass costs 99,000 (yup the same surgery that costs 15,000 here), then you can hardly blame them. In civilised countries like Sweden people get medical care before they actually die and in decent countries like Brazil, if someone’s house burns down people most likely HELP each other, like decent human beings. Or if soneone has a car accdient, they probably sort it out in a civilised adult manner instead of resorting to insurance ghouls.

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